Men are expected to be the leaders in the dating world. They are expected to make the approach, do the asking out, organize and pay for the first date, make the first move, and lead the texting conversation between dates. Unfortunatly, majority of men are not born knowing how to understand women, or skills in dating, yet there is very little literature, coaching and support for men in this aspect, not to mention the societal pressure to just naturally be "a ladies man". They don't grow up knowing how to flirt, approach, dress and present themselves, all these things need to be taught. It is my plan to change that, and help the men of Halifax understand how to enter the dating world confidently and respectfully, to then exit the dating world with a great partner. The first step at becoming better is to understand where we are messing up. Most men only need to tweak a few things, and understand a few concepts, to go from zero success to landing a second date with an amazing women.
I have heard every reason under the sun as to why a women would not want to go on a second date with a guy. Majority of them can be grouped into these top 5 reasons.
# 1 They aren't compatible - This is the one and only reason on this list the we can not change. Lack of compatibility is not a rejection! This is the reason we date. A lot of people think dating is the art of making people love us, but the reality is, dating is the art of finding out who can be a part of our life. Lack of compatibility is what ends relationships one, two or three years down the road. We should be glad we figure this out before the second date.
# 2 There was no attraction or chemistry on the date - This means that she didn't find you physically or emotionally attractive. Men are blessed with the fact that physical looks aren't the only means of success with the opposite sex. Don't get me wrong, I'm not nieve in the fact that physical attraction is very important when looking for a future romantic partner, but men are able to increase their physical attraction through clothing choices, grooming, conversational skills, success and building confidence.
# 3 He talked about himself non-stop - This is sometime I hear far to late in some of my dater's lives. I will send people out in their late 30's and the man still doesn't have the conversational know how. My rule when going out on a date is for every one question she ask's, you ask two!
# 4 He couldn't get over his nerves - This is from lack of practice. Some people are born with higher nervous fits than most, but majority of the time, those who allow nerves to overwhelm them on a first date, usually are just out of practice. The same guy in a networking event can rock the room and get all kinds of connections professionally, and yet has a hard time transfering that into the romantic realm. Start practicing and getting yourself outside your comfort zone more often to get over the nerves.
# 5 He looked like a slob - This happens more than it should. It comes from great intentions as well. Some men rarely get dressed up in their every day lives, so when it comes time to go out on a date, their clothing is outdated, mismatched and wrinkly. Take some time and learn from a professional one simple, comfortable first date outfit, and keep it pressed and taken care of, for when the first date comes.
To summarize, all of these reasons can be wrapped up into one sentence. The man lacked the experience, preparation, knowledge and confidence to take out a high quality women. If you want to date high quality, you must become high quality. Any leadership position is not just known, it comes from study, coaching, assistance and support.