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Red Flag - All Men or All Women

Dating can be a battlefield, but it doesn't have to be. We need to go into the dating world in the right frame of mind, keep an eye out for red flags, limit the expectations we put on others and just have some fun getting to know new people.

Personally, I can be completely oblivious to red flags, even if they are vigorously being waved directly in my face. Yet, even for me, there is one red flag that I will never ignore and I hear far too often. It's the good ole, "All women FILL IN THE BLANK HERE", my least favorite being "are crazy" or "All men BLANK", my least favorite being "just want sex".

The minute I hear someone say this in my matchmaking consultation, I make a huge note. If I hear someone say this to me on a date, I'm not very likely going to move to the next one. This statement tells me a lot of things, the first being, you are still hurting from your last experience. A hurt person who expresses themselves with anger should not be actively dating. They will only continue to hurt and damage more people who don't deserve it. This is why I always respect a man or women who says they're taking a break from dating for a bit. This is very important to do, so we can come back into the dating world with the right mindset.

Second, for you to think an entire gender of unique, beautiful, and dynamic people could possibly be summarized into an opinion you have of them is an extreme form of self-centeredness.

Finally, the only common denominator in your statement is you. Similar to the man who says all his exes were crazy. Perhaps you treat your exes poorly, and they only knew how to get through to you with "crazy" behavior. Again all those women are different, you are the only thing reoccurring in your statement.

I'm not pointing fingers and judging, I say this because just two years ago I was a man-hater who spouted this red flag every chance I had. I knew the hurt and damage behind this statement, and what I had to do to come out the other side respecting, understanding and loving men.

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