As I'm going through the speed dating matches from last Tuesday night, I came across one very interesting sheet that I have seen many times before. This women had a healthy amount of men checked off as romantic matches, a handful checked off as friendship matches and about half checked off as NO. This is a normal speed dating result sheet for a women. What was odd is the majority of the romantic and friendship matches were scratched out leaving only 1 as romantic and 2 as friendship. Can you guess why?
Speed dating is quick and intense. You only have 6 minutes with a person, and then less than 30 seconds to take note of your thoughts before the next date arrives in front of you. The most honest results are recorded during the first half of the event. Things are moving too quickly to allow second thought or hesitation influence your results. Then comes the break half way through, you head over to your friend to see how her experience was. You can tell she didn't have nearly as much fun as you. It is very likely she came into this experience with a bad attitude. Now that you think about it, she has had a bad attitude around being single since you've known her. You glance at her sheet and notice she has checked NO on everyone with nasty comments next to a few of the dates. She then asks to see your list, and you don't want to, but you do, and before you know it, each man has been picked to pieces and all your lovely connections have been scratched off your sheet and the seed of doubt has been planted in your mind.
I see this at almost every event. One bad attitude can bring down the energy of the entire evening, and will almost always ruin it for the friend who brought them. For everyone's sake, leave the friend with the bad attitude at home, there are many who would love to take their spot. The same can be said for your life as a single person. We tend to gravitate to that one single friend in a sea of married couples and babies, yet, just like when looking for our romantic partner, our single-friend partner needs to have a similar mindset and attitude as you. If they have a negative outlook on the opposite sex, they are always going to have a negative outlook on your potential future partner. Early on in the dating process is very fragile. One ill-thought-out negative comment from someone who is negative about everything can harm your opinion about that person, or even end a great potential love before it begins. Seeking the opinion of your friends and family of those you are dating is very very very important. Dating in a bubble of seclusion is never a healthy beginning to a relationship, but think about the the people you are seeking advice from. Do they have fruit on the tree? Do they normally have something bad to say about everyone? Do they know enough about the topic to make an educated opinion? You wouldn't seek money advice from your broke friend, so why seek love advice from your friend who hates love.